Milestones

The things you now get excited about as a parent are quite unexpected. From the small milestones such as changing your babies nappy for the first time or leaving the house with your new baby all on your own. To the bigger milestones when your baby first rolls over or when that windy smile turns into a real gummy grin. When your baby poos after not going for days you will do a celebratory dance. Seeing that little sharp peg of a first tooth coming through will get you teary eyed. The first time they say mummy will erase any negativity you’ve ever felt about them in a heartbeat. I could go on.

 I was incredibly impatient for each of Jaxon’s (who is now 18 months) milestones to materialise. For him to grow faster so that the next milestone could be met. I would religiously record every single detail in his baby book not wanting to forget a thing. With hunter (6 months) I know he will be my last baby and I feel like I want him to stay little forever. I still record most details in his baby book but inevitably I do forget and some details may be counterfactual. As much as he is a sicky, dribbling, sleep stealer he’s also one of the happiest babies I’ve ever met. Jaxon on the other hand, my first child, seemed to be a miserable baby (sorry darling, but you really were) and nothing pleased him. He despised sleep on another level to your average baby. Hated being on his tummy, hated to be held and would physically push you away. He was incredibly testing. Nothing and nowhere seemed to calm him. He had a rocky start into the world and I’ve always wondered if this affected his early months. It definitely affected our bonding and we took a long while to get used to each other. The ‘instant love’ so many new parents speak of was not present for me and Jaxon. We grew to love each other and that’s ok.

Hunters current favourite place is in one of the most simplistic old school baby bouncers (we got sucked in to the expensive spinning/vibrating/musical chairs which he did not much enjoy! Try before you buy where possible.) either watching me cooking in the kitchen or in front of the tv. Perfect! First time round I would never of dreamt of plonking my child in front of the tv. The ‘first time mum’ me would have labelled this as lazy parenting. Which was a good job as Jaxon hated the tv, shock. But second time round I am more than happy if he is happy. I know that he also gets all the other interaction and stimulation he needs. I am definitely a more relaxed parent the second time round. Parenting is hard enough without sweating the small stuff and feeling worried about being judged by others on your choices. You know your child, you know what is best. Don’t forget that. 

Choose. Your. Battles. Is one of the best bits of advice I can give you. If Jaxon wants to play with the fruit bowl, bite every single apple in there and put it back, then go for it. I’ve had at least 6 minutes of peace. If he wants to empty out the tv cabinet, go wild. That means I can have a cuppa. (I’m joking, I can’t. I’m probably changing the other ones bum or cleaning up puke!) I don’t particularly want him to do these things but if I don’t have the stamina to argue with a toddler once again then I will let certain situations go. There’s plenty more opportunities to set out the boundaries and behavioural correction when you have the mental capacity. I’m not saying let them run riot but if your on your 4th tantrum of the day and all he wants is to play with my make up then I’m probably going to turn a blind eye. This will conserve energy for the bigger disagreements we have!

The milestones are coming thick and fast this time with Hunter and I’m not quite ready for all the change. Six months has literally flashed before my eyes and has no sign of slowing down. As much as being depended on is completely draining, it’s also incredibly fulfilling. Imagining a time when they run off into school without looking back, not needing me so much any more, hurts my heart. But alas this will be another milestone to endure. 

Emily.