I have just started a new routine, in which the kids morning nap time is in sync, so I actually get a short break. Having one napping, one awake, one feeding then the other feeding was just getting too much. So now we do everything together which seems to be going well. I always have good intentions of putting the washing away, actually showering and putting on clothes or doing a workout. But most of the time I get lost in my phone sat on the edge of my bed and before I know it I’ve got 10 minutes to get my shit together before the youngest one wakes up. Because sometimes it’s just so DAMN NICE to be able to do that. Those days are the ones where motivation gets lost in the post and everyone is eating chicken nuggets. But on the days the motivation fairy sprinkles her magic I have showered AND washed my hair. (I know, I can’t quite believe it either) I’ve got dressed and started the kids a healthy version of fish and chips with a HOMEMADE cucumber and yoghurt dip. Fancy. Standing ovation. I am, in fact, Supermum.
The very moment the thought even enters your head that today may be a good day, the kids bring you right back down to earth. Hunter (6 months) will puke in my freshly washed hair and Jaxon (18 months) will be having a tantrum. Todays tantrum started because I wouldn’t let him play with washing tablets he eyed up earlier as I was putting the washing on. How awful a mother I must be for not letting you eat pure poison. I digress, the tantrums are in fact getting quite bizarre. There is a current obsession with bottles and lids but obviously lids get taken away. (choking hazard, cue tantrum) Our daily battle with the sun cream. He’s obsessed with it. Sitting and pretending to put it on but mostly eating it. The moment I take it away all hell breaks loose. I now have to turn into David Copperfield as I slyly apply the sun cream without him even seeing the bottle. This careful execution is totally worth the avoidance of previously mentioned meltdown. It baffles me the lengths I will go, to avoid this and many similar tantrums. Your energy from 6am-7pm is precious so you definitely need to avoid emotional explosions where possible.
With all the crap that usually happens by 8am I am, more often than not, ready to call it a day. But as much as there routine is monotonous it is also what gets you through the day. When your ready to jack it all in at 8am and hide behind the sofa with a bottle of gin, you realise that there’s only another hour and half to go before morning nap time. When they wake up it’s lunch. Then one of them has afternoon nap time, so only one to entertain. Then a group activity, which has mostly consisted of daily walks during lockdown. Then by 4pm dinner, bath and bed begins. Making it to bedtime without loosing your shit is a massive parent win. The relief of putting happy, safe, healthy children to bed is simply wonderful. Then you sit down, fall asleep within the hour and groundhog Day begins again.
There’s no doubt the early years are lonely, isolating and a pretty damn hard slog. But they’re also filled with love, laughter and slobbery kisses. There little personalities starting to shine through doing the funniest things, with the purest hearts and inability to feel anything other than freedom of emotion. How liberating that would be if adults were capable of applying this to their own existence. Toddlers express everything to the very best of there ability without being able to speak. Imagine that for a second. The frustration you would feel to not be able to communicate properly. It would be overwhelming, all consuming and sometimes just all too much to process. To stand back and realise this puts a lot of things into perspective. Don’t get me wrong when he’s mindlessly whinging and screeching his head off of course I start loosing my mind. I don’t remember any of this rationality. But to recognise it must mean I am growing as a parent, as a person.
Emily.
Two Under two 